The impact of divorce on your children

Even though you’ve  married out of love that doesn’t mean  you can’t reach a point in your marriage when there is nothing else to do, but recognize that divorce is the only solution. You must not regard as a tragedy, but as a fact of life, quite common in the modern society. However, if you have children, then the situation is a bit complicated, because you have to help them cope with the idea that their parents will no longer live under the same roof. Children must not be affected by your divorce, because they are growing up and this could hurt their development. Therefore, here a few aspects you have to treat attentively, when passing through these difficult times.

Always tell the truthtell the truth

Avoiding to talk about the divorce won’t make things magically disappear, but on the contrary. Your child could end up blaming himself for what is happening in the family. So, before you start a serious discussion of this nature with your children, ask them what they want from you. Don’t be surprised to hear about how much he hates the ongoing fights or that he would like his parents to spend more time with him. Many parents are not aware of the fact that children understand much more than one could imagine. After doing so, try to listen to your child and fix what can be fixed. Considering his age, explain what is going on and set the record straight. Try to answer all his question and be patient, because you are not talking to an adult. Your children will find it hard to understand why his parents can no longer live in the same house. This kind of discussion is not just for mothers or fathers only. The wisest approach would be to tackle with this issue as a family, so that your child can understand that you are still his parents and nothing has changed regarding him or her. Additionally, it is very important to keep reassuring your children that both parents will supports them and love them the same.

 divorce and children

Divorcing and raising your child

It is very hard to pass through this experience and maintain a balance for your children, but it is vital. An open communication with your soon to be ex is very important, because this way all the family activities the child is used to are maintained. Divorce is equal in meaning with change and when raising a child, change must be avoided. Children feel safe when routine is in their lives, because they know what will happen. This is why most children do not cope well with new events. If you can, try to organize all your activities in the same way you did before. In this period of his life, your child must be constantly reassured that nothing is going to alter and you, as a parent, are the only one who is able to do so. A good idea would be to dine together, as a family, at least once a week.

The big D is hard on everybody, but adults have their own way of coping with difficult events, while children need a bit of help. So, try to be as close to your child as possible throughout this period, because a wrong approach regarding this issue could lead to serious conditions like depression.

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